Former Members of Duke University Improv

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There have been 35 members in DUI's history. DUI alumni span the globe, many performing. Some of our alums are members of the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in New York, while others are members of Second City and IO in Chicago. You can also find DUI alumni in print. Dana Vachon’s debut novel Mergers and Acquisitions, a Wall Street satire, has received critical acclaim and Porter Mason, author of the successful Chronicle comic Johnny the Mediocre Human while at Duke, writes the comic strip Bassist Wanted.

DUI alumni are many things. They are doctors, lawyers, teachers, authors, musicians, actors, comedians, and humanitarians. Our alums go on to a variety of fields where ultimately they will have great success. Because above all, members of DUI are marked by their ambition, pleasant nature, and ability to happily laugh at themselves.

Many of our alumni's bios are written from when they were students at Duke but they will be updated as our alumni send us new ones.

Class of '99

Laura Bronner

DUI Tenure: Fall 1998 - Spring 1999

Laura Bronner joined DUI for her senior year and DUI's third year of existence. She is the oldest member of DUI and the first female member. Laura starred in Big Show 2 with DUI. She is prominently featured in this article about DUI from The Chronicle on April 16, 1999.

Class of '00

Harris Brodsky

DUI Tenure: Fall 1996 - Spring 2000

Title: Secret Service chairman, Token Wayne Manor meber, Sexual Reference King

Height: breath-taking

Weight: splendid

Turn-Ons: sexual references, Doing Lines (the game, not the activity)

Turn-Offs: none, Harris loves everyone and everything, and he really likes sexual references

Harris Brodsky is Jewish. I mean, I don't want to dwell on it, but there it is, you know? No way around it. Besides being Jewish, Harris' hobbies include running the D.U.I. secret service and writing bar-none, the funniest eMail responses in the known universe. Quite the ladies man, Harris often attracts more groupies than the rest of the group combined (excluding Cason, who is often excluded), causing great problems for Groupie Control chairman, Nupur Mehta. Says Mehta, "Sloppy Joe's are not sloppy; in fact, they're very nutricious." Harris excels in the "Doing Lines" game, who's name I've recently decided to change (the one where one guy reads lines from a play and some other guy, usually Harris, replies with something funny). His deadpan humor and unrelenting spunk have won him numerous accolades including an MTV Video Award for his work in the Spice Girls' "2 Become 1". Harris' favorite cheese is Quembly, which is a saucy little number developed in South Wales. Harris hopes to one day write his own bio.

Cason Carter

DUI Tenure: Fall 1996 - Spring 2000

Title: The Christian Mack, Sassinator

Height: about like so

Weight: varies

Turn-Ons: Should've Said, Should've Said, Should've Said, Should've Said

Turn-Offs: unsassy people

Cason Carter. What can I say about Cason Carter? What can't I say? Well, I can't say he has an adamantium skeleton and a mutant healing factor. I can't say he really knows much about early 11th century music. And I can't say whether or not its boxers or briefs for Cason. My guess is boxers. Cason plays "Should've Said" like a boy out in the rain. He plays it a lot. Almost every show. If he's not scheduled to play in a "Should've Said" game, the preshow practice turns into a big bartering session in which Cason trades money, beads, and collectible plates for a spot in "Should've Said". If anybody's low on cash, we just schedule him for "Should've Said" at a show, and boom, Cason sets him up. Funniest line Cason has ever said, in my opinion, is "Can I have some candy?" Sounds very unfunny there, but if you had heard it in context. Woo. And speaking of that, why weren't you at the Bassett show to hear it in context? Were you just too busy, Mr. Important? I mean, we're out there busting our... (I rambled on for several more minutes, but it got cut out in post). Cason can play the 1812 Overture using only a handsaw and a woodchuck. Well, he could if he ever tried. Man, Carter, live a little every now and then.

John Grant

DUI Tenure: Fall 1996 - Spring 2000

Title: Member of the Executive Board Who is Tall

Height: not confirmed, but the boy's damn tall

Weight: 10-5000 lbs.

Turn-Ons: Sentence Game, Film and Theater Styles, getting to be a lawyer character

Turn-Offs: anyone else talking ever

John Grant, one of the Executive Board members, began his rise to improv power at an early age. After an abortive coup attempt in New York (the famous "Apollo Putsch"), he spent several months in prison where he penned his autobiography "Mein Kamp" - literally "My Camp." Spurred by the words of his stirring tale, hordes of people (2) flocked to his call and the DUI Executive Board was formed. John found his improv niche in such games as "Film and Theater Styles" and "Sentence Game." He is particularly admired for his bravery in "Film and Theater" because of the danger that, at any moment, Sean might jump on him. After leaving DUI, John would like to see the Executive Board collapse in a struggle for control of the power vacuum left in his wake. He would also like to get a job writing inspirational posters or working in the ultimate comedy venue: politics.

Scott Hecker

DUI Tenure: Fall 1996 - Spring 2000

Title: Member of Executive Board Who Can Sing

Height: N/A

Weight: N/A (Scott is an ethereal being who exists without height or weight)

Turn-Ons: Party Quirks

Turn-Offs: Forwards/Backwards

Born in a log cabin in the frozen Alaskan tundra, Scott cultivated his humor by doing stand-up routines for families of polar bears (this would explain his inability to actually be funny to people). Scott often plays the straight man in DUI, not only because the rest of the group is gay but also on account of the fact that he doesn't have the creativity or versatility to play interesting characters. The game Party Quirks, Scott's personal favorite, yields itself to this characteristic of Scott's improv abilities. When not making a fool of himself with DUI, Scott sings with the Pitchforks, an all-male a cappella group here at Duke. He also enjoys reading the Chronicle cartoon strip Johnny the Mediocre Human. Scott would like to thank the comedian who opened for Kevin Nealon for inspiring him to enter the wonderful world of comedy because if that guy could get paid to tell bad jokes why shouldn't Scott be able to? By the way, Scott is a pisces for anyone who's interested.

Sean Loughlin

DUI Tenure: Fall 1996 - Spring 2000

Title: Skippy, the roadie, B.J., Horatio

Height: yes

Weight: definitely

Turn-Ons: jumping on people, Film and Theater, filming everything, having John sleep on him

Turn-Offs: jumping on some people

Sean is the very essence of an experiment gone horribly awry. He was born in zero gravity on a secret space station orbiting the earth where space monkeys raised him because the government thought it would be “cool.” Officials at NASA were hoping to create some sort of human/monkey hybrid, but when it was discovered that all parties aboard the space station were male, the mission was scrapped. Sean was quickly brought back to earth for reconditioning. Sean is still recovering from his unconventional childhood. You could say that this is reason he often disregards gravity and jumps on people. You could definitely say that. But you’d be wrong. Dead wrong.

Matt Kovalick

DUI Tenure: Fall 1996 - Spring 2000

Title: Phantom of the Improv, The Suggestor, thirf member of The Virginia Triad

Height: this many

Weight: bigger than a breadbox

Turn-Ons: gibberish, suggesting things, suggesting things in gibberish, three words: Zip Zap Zop

Turn-Offs: this would imply Matt is ever unhappy, which is a wacky suggestion

Matt is a freedom fighter, going wherever injustice is prevalent. He fights for the weak, helpless, blind, and gimpy. He recently defended a small Brazilian village from evil developers using only a family-sized tube of toothpaste (empty, of course) and a rubber ducky. He weaves toilet seat covers out of coca leaves and sells them at flea markets as he wanders the earth looking for the one he calls “El Guapo” or “El Guano.” No one is sure which. Matt never asks for anything in return for his services, as he is a kleptomaniac and just takes things

Porter Mason

DUI Tenure: Fall 1996 - Spring 2000

Title: El Presidante de Figureheado, Advertising Czar/Slave, or Cartoon Boy

RECENTLY RELEASED "JOHNNY THE MEDIOCRE HUMAN" the book BUY YOURS TODAY!! Email phm@duke.edu for your copy

Height: 6'0"

Weight: Unimportant

Turn-Ons: World's Worst, Should've Said

Turn-Offs: being Party Quirks host

The president of D.U.I., Porter plays an important role in the group. As president, he is forced, er, rather, he willingly, and from the goodness or his heart, spends several hours a day putting up those annoying signs all over campus. As you can probably guess, this incredible position of power gets a lot of respect from the other members of the troupe. Except for Sean. He doesn't respect Porter. He does stalk Porter. Anyhoo, Porter hails from Europa, one of Jupiter's moons. He spends most of his time at home mining through the Europan ice crust, in hopes to become the first human to discover Weezer b-sides on another planet. Porter is really cool in that, if he hears any song he remotely knows the words to (which includes 98.456% of all Beatles songs), he will sing along with them and/or harmonize with them. And he does it really well. And all his friends can't get enough of his singing. He also enjoys exagerating while writing short biographies of himself. You may also know Porter from such cartoon strips as: "Johnny, the Mediocre Human", "SuperHeroes", and "Lopita: the Touching Story of an Orphan Stranded in the Jungles of Madagascar". "Johnny", which runs daily in the Duke Chronicle, follows the life of a maverick Russian submarine commander who uses his position of power to assemble a crew willing to help him in his flight to freedom. Or is the defection plot simply that, a plot? Does Ramius intend to fire his missiles on the coast? Stay tuned to "Johnny". Which also features cute little bats and squirrel characters for the kids. Porter is also a big dork and does websites like this one and R&R Online.

Nupur Mehta

DUI Tenure: Fall 1996 - Spring 2000

Title: Elephant Boy, Captain Optimist

Height: tall enough, must you pry?

Weight: less than me

Turn-Ons: sonar transmitting devices, REM, and sleeping pe... oh nevermind.

Turn-Offs: too numerous to list

Nupe hails from the royal family of a small province in the red light district of the Indian outback. When the existing government insisted on levying taxes to raise revenue for universal education and employment programs, the Mehtas, fed up with the abuse of power, quickly overthrew the government and sentenced former officials to no dessert or TV for a week. When Nupe discovered that he was betrothed to the only child of the neighboring royal family (who was incidentally a large one-eyed man), he fled the country and left everything behind. He went back to get his CD’s, favorite Airwalks, and the stuffed rabbit he affectionately calls Nehasapetapetalan (translates to Blinkey). Nupe lived like a hobo for years, jumping freight cars, eating out of dumpsters, and turning states evidence to testify against dummy-front corporations for the Russian Mafia. The list goes on.

Class of '01

Andy Cies

DUI Tenure: Fall 1997 - Spring 2001

Title: Cuppa, That Tall Guy, Jenny's Sister, That Guy Who Gets Us Beer at KA Parties

Height: 3.0986 x 10^45 miles

Weight: probably a lot, but he won't tell, he's shy about these things

Turn-Ons: weird cult religions like Christianity, pretending like he's southern, Choc-ola

Turn-Offs: fire

The son of a professional jockey, Andy was genetically destined to live the life of a midget. To this end, his parents enrolled him in the Bella Carolis midget curling camp, hoping he would one day capture the hearts of the vertically challenged community of Canada. However, the endless forced repetition of “De plane, boss, de plane!” had a profound effect on Andy. Through sheer will, he forced himself to grow to his present towering stature and can thankfully repress his painful past through improv comedy.

Flynn Barrison

DUI Tenure: Fall 1997 - Spring 2001

Title: The Second Jew (his name from the scriptures of DUI), Drama Boy

Height: higher than the highest mountain

Weight: greater than the greatest barbell

Turn-Ons: blonde women from Seattle who like computers, Seinfeld, Ben Folds

Turn-Offs: a great many things piss Flynn off and I haven't the space to list them all

Flynn hasn’t been allowed outside in several years. It’s about time the truth came out: he’s a recovering bubble boy. Locked up in isolation for so long, he had no outlet for his energy but through the authorship of Hallmark cards. There’s a smile behind every card. It’s Flynn’s. When Flynn was finally permitted to once again walk amongst the rest of society, he realized how incredibly stupid most people are and longed for the security of his bubble, which had since popped. Bitterness ensued, and his cards were never the same. Slogans like “Wow, it’s your birthday! Now you’re one year closer to death. Hope you choke on a candle” just didn’t sell.

Class of '02

Bobby Jones

DUI Tenure: Fall 1998 - Spring 2002

Title: Booby

Turn-Ons: English Accents, Latin, Greek, his leg Flynn

Turn-Offs: Ancient Sumerian

Bobby grew up in small town of Dingletown, Connecticut. Son of a proctologist and a pimp, many assumed that he was destined for improv greatness from the start. That was until the fateful day when Bobby, age six at the time, was "forgotten" in aisle 4 of the local Walmart. Dedicating the rest of his childhood to becoming a five star general, Bobby soon became grand-master of 'Stratego' and later 'Don't Wake Daddy'.

Dark days lay ahead for poor Bob-o. After piece accords with Teddy Ruksbin and the red army of aisle 12 fell through, Mr. Jones found himself on the verge of total Thermo-Nerfular war. In spite of fringe elements of both sides attempts at sabotaging the peace process with a few well aimed lawn darts, the perilous 13 hour ordeal (soon to be a major motion picture) came to an end.

Traumatized by these string of events (and with new found courage in his own potty training), Bobby left on a whaling ship called "The Origin of the Species" in order to study and better understand Beagles. Once on the in crowd, Snoopy introduced Bobby to some of the top brass. The brass introduced him to copper and silver. Copper was a jerk and stood Bobby up. Silver on the other hand stuck around and even let him meet Technetium once. That's about it. Oh yeah, and Bobby somehow got involved with improv at some point.

Bret Runestad

DUI Tenure: Spring 2000 - Spring 2002

Title: Ewing?

Volume: 10,827 cc's

Weight: A metric pound

Turn-Ons: Try-outs, Dana, warm fuzzies

Turn-Offs: Those who might kill his savior

Bret is your typical eccentric recluse. After cracking what has often been referred to as "The Great American Joke" some seven years ago now, he mysteriously disappeared from the spotlight and now rarely appears outside except to purchase Mountain Dew and donuts. Bret now engages in what he insists is the next great comedy art form: the E-Card. If you get directed to an Internet site that contains a quirky quip about Kwanzaa, a panache-filled paragraph on Pi Day (March 14), or a witty witticism about Wit Day you can bet that he had something to do with it. Bret loves alliteration. And redundancy. And tautology. And pleonasm. Yeah. Every summer, Bret works for the US Government developing new Blow-dart technology. His laser-sighted, automatic blow-guns are currently being used to protect the cast of Survivor 2 from the natives of the Australian outback. Bret enjoys moderation. Bret is a religion major cuz he figured if he could get his eternal salvation worked out in college, he could spend the rest of his life figuring out how to make six figures. Bret is currently using his collegiate studies and love of comedy to write a stirring Gospel titled "That wacky, wacky Jesus" which he expects will someday be included in the New Testament.

Dana Vachon

DUI Tenure: Spring 2000 - Spring 2002

Dana Vachon was born in Greenwich, Connecticut, and raised in Chappaqua, New York. He attended Duke University, and graduated, as he claims, “cum nihilo” in 2002. While at Duke, he joined DUI in the Spring of his sophomore year--just in time for Big Show 3. After graduation, Vachon landed a job as an analyst at JPMorgan and began work on this novel. His writing has appeared in the International Herald Tribune, Men’s Vogue, The New York Times, and Salon. He lives in New York City.

Class of '03

Tom Cass

DUI Tenure: Fall 1998 - Spring 1999

Tom Cass joined DUI his freshman year and appeared in Big Show 2. Only a member of DUI for one year, Tom resigned from the group due to time constraints with the Duke Wrestling team.

Seth Weitberg

DUI Tenure: Fall 1999 - Spring 2003

Title: The Third Jew, Kidney Bean

Height: Two Cubits

Weight: ... ok, now you can go. Wait, Homonym jokes are dumb.

Turn-Ons: Senior girls, the color green, bikes

Turn-Offs: Bad Introductions, countdown

Seth Weitberg works as a full-time actor, writer and director in Chicago, IL. He travels the country performing sketch comedy with The Second City Touring Company and performs improv at the iO Theater with groups such as Armando Diaz, Bullet Lounge and the two-man powerhouse, Nogoodnicks. He has written two, one-man shows, the john doe project (a 2004 Single File Festival selection) and America Gives Itself A Hero's Welcome. Weitberg serves on the artistic council at iO, where he also teaches, produces and directs the ensemble, Cutlass Supreme. He has appeared in the hip-hop improv fusion show The Beatbox, which has played the main stages at the Toronto, Dirty South and Chicago Improv Festivals, and the political improvised satire, Mock The Vote. Called "commanding and energetic" by The Chicago Reader, Weitberg has been heard and seen on Mancow's Morning Madhouse and Late Night with Conan O'Brien.

Class of '04

Greg Anderson

DUI Tenure: Fall 2000 - Spring 2004

Title: Clone Gone Awry

Height: About so

Weight: Greg may appear of average weight, but due to his staggering density (and those damn dirty apes) Greg weighs in on a planetary scale. The Hubble Space Telescope has actually observed a system of rings around Greg last March and are not ruling out the possibility of finding moons as well.

Turn-Ons: Hair with sufficient shine and bounce.

Turn-Offs: Hobbits, Antelope, Marmosets

Although the government denies it, Greg is the living proof of the first cloned human being. When River Phoenix passed away in 1993, the Department of Commerce became frightened of similar actors arriving at the same fate. Under the highest security, a cloning project soon began. Their first subject: Christian Slater. Granted there were complications; their early failed efforts producing the likes of Jason Biggs and Jake Lloyd (Yipee!). Then: paydirt. Greg Anderson was spawned.

In order to assure Greg's captivity, all Gregs were created females and lysine deficient. With the use of a paper clip, some chewing gum, and his trusty Swiss Army knife, though, Greg escaped. Raised by Velociraptors on a diet of Centrum Advantage in Central America, Greg soon forgot his harrowing past. He now moves in herds and is ovoviviparous.

Paul Downs

DUI Tenure: Fall 2000 - Spring 2004

Title: The Guy with Red Cords

Height: Acceptable

Weight: Svelt

Turn-Ons: Dissintary, Joining multiple comedy troupes

Turn-Offs: Guessing Games, Blow Darts

John Marnell

DUI Tenure: Fall 2000 - Spring 2004

John Marnell was a member of DUI for all four of his years at Duke. After graduation, he worked in Phoenix before eventually moving to New York to pursue a career in music where he is known as "Johnny Marnell."

Class of '05

Jeremy Chapman

DUI Tenure: Fall 2001 - Spring 2005

Hometown: Chicago, IL

Likes: Poker, geodes, sharks

Dislikes: Peace and quiet

Hey! I'm Jeremy! Thanks for reading about me...

At a very young age, I was born. My first memory is of my grandpa carrying me in one hand and drinking a can of beer in the other. A bunch of fire ants also having something to do with that memory, I think. The subsequent years of my life can be summarized by several milestones:

-Age 4: Boogers, Gassies, and Doodies Start Being Hilarious
-Age 7: Save My Family From an IRS Audit Because the Guy Hears Me Playing Mario 1 Upstairs and Wants Me to Show Him How to Beat Level 8-4
-Age 13: Boogers, Gassies and Doodies No Longer That Funny
-Age 14: There's Something Compelling About this Playboy Magazine
-Age 16: Old Enough to Finally Hear the Truth About My First Dog, Pepper, Whom My Parents Gave Away to a Stranger While My Brother and I Were Away Visiting Grandma and Grandpa, and Then They Told Us That He Had Died
-Age 19: Reaffirmation of the Hilarity of Boogers, Gassies and Doodies

I graduated from Duke with a B.S. in Neuroscience. I like games a lot, and kids. Let's be friends!

Find out more about Jeremy's life at JeremysLife.com

Caroline Haubold

DUI Tenure: Fall 2002 - Spring 2005

Hometown: London, UK

Likes: poker, air guitar, rain, artichokes, vikings, the smell of freshly opened tennis ball cans

Dislikes: raisins when added to curries and desserts

When not improvising, Caroline can be found lurking in darkened corridors and shallow waters, and occasionally acting. After Duke, Caroline wants to be a screenwriter so she can lose herself in her own highly romanticised view of history. She cites her influences as Leslie Nielsen, Louis XIV and Gonzo the Muppet. Caroline is currently writing a two-person show with fellow Senior Kym Stansell which she hopes to perform in Spring 2005. Caroline has a consuming fetish for all things Asian.

Rob Painter

DUI Tenure: Fall 2001 - Spring 2005

Hometown: Chapel Hill, NC

Likes: vintage clothing, alliteration, girls

Dislikes: carbs, his cigarette addiction

A professor of Egyptology at Yale University on leave to receive an undergraduate degree from Duke, Rob Painter is a conundrum. On the one hand, he professes to love words, delighting in the arts of wordplay and its close relative, phonesex. On the other hand, aside from a tremendously long life line, Rob cannot read. The eldest of three children, Rob spent his childhood huffing fumes in the hood of his father's laboratory. As a consequence, he finds drug imagery in everything, once noting that the lupine antagonist of "The Three Little Pigs" must be "jonesin' if he wants to huff, puff and do blow. He thinks he can breathe on a house and make it collapse?(Omitted), that guy's (Omitted) up." Rob lives with his adopted family off East Campus, where they attempt to evoke New England.

Ryan Welsh

DUI Tenure: Fall 2002 - Spring 2005

Likes: compromise, thoughtfulness, cinnamon rolls

Dislikes: absolutely nothing

Hometown: Sidney, OH

Ryan likes improv a lot. Majoring in English, Ryan wants to be an English teacher and an improv comic, but he's not sure how to make the transition from a life rife with sin, scandal and untoasted bagels. Ryan's favorite corner of the Western literary canon is T. S. Eliot's poetic vision of collegiate life, [The I'm-So-Wasted Land]. Ryan would like to thank everyone who ever helped him out...it's been a tough road, but it's good to be here.

Class of '06

Andrew Humphries

DUI Tenure: Fall 2002 - Spring 2006

Hometown: Chicago, IL

Likes: Mushrooms, reality tv shows, the color pink

Dislikes: Injustice - there is just too much of it in the world.

Andrew resides in Illinois but considers himself from Virginia. He is usually single.

Class of '07

Stephen Cox

DUI Tenure: Fall 2003 - Spring 2007

Hometown: Pocasset, MA

Likes: Section, gettin’ paddled, and ellipses

Dislikes: The Bone Collector, the movie

Stephen came roaring into the world on a hot July evening in 1985. Soon after, the Berlin Wall came down, Apartheid was brought to an end in South Africa, and the world entered the digital age. This was no coincidence. Hailing from Cape Cod (Yes, people live there. No, it is not fun.), Stephen has lived a sheltered life while trying to confuse and confound the world with his multiple usages of punctuation marks!?! Steve also enjoys long walks, hot tubs, erotic literature, and telling little kids the truth about Santa. Log onto the facebook and poke him…for a good time.

After graduation, Stephen moved to New York where he began work as one of 60 people admitted to NBC's prestigious Page program out of over 10,000 applicants.

Laura Pyatt

DUI Tenure: Fall 2003 - Spring 2004

Laura is fluent in over 30 different animal languages, including "kitten". She has a PhD in Fun from Gumdrop University in Marshmallow Land. She enjoys gummi bears and making citizen's arrests. Laura joined DUI for a year before resigning due to time constraints with Project WILD.

Class of '08

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